IN FRONT OF THE HOTEL

NARRATOR:
Since Harry was struck by lightning, he wakes up every time on the same day in the Black Forest. So it's quite understandable that Harry only has one aim: to get out of here!

HARRY:
Today is the day.

NARRATOR:
Are you going to go by bike? 

HARRY: 
Oh yes I am. I'm not risking my life in a taxi. 

NARRATOR:
Don't be unfair. No one could have expected that a penguin would suddenly throw itself in front of the car in the middle of the Black Forest.

HARRY: 
Exactly! A penguin in Germany! That's only another reason to get out of here. Achtung! Out of the way!

HEINZ: 
Die Welt ist verrückt! Das Ende ist nah!

NARRATOR: 
And what makes you so sure that your time warp will end once you've left Germany?

HARRY: 
Well, can you think of anything better?
 

AT A CONVENIENCE STORE

HARRY:
Guten Tag!

SHOP ASSISTANT: (DIALECT)
Grüß Gott! Moment, ich komme gleich.

NARRATOR:
What do you want to do here? This is a Tante-Emma-Laden.

HARRY:
What?

NARRATOR:
That's what they call these small stores in Germany, where the owner himself stands behind the counter.

HARRY:
I need some food and an umbrella – Regenschirm, der Regenschirm!

NARRATOR:
A lightning conductor wouldn't be a bad idea.

HARRY:
Very funny. At least they've got everything you could possibly want: Milch, bread ...

NARRATOR:
Brot

HARRY:
Ham and cheese

NARRATOR:
Schinken und Käse

HARRY:
Fruit and vegetables

NARRATOR:
Obst und Gemüse

HARRY:
Perfect!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
So, kann ich Ihnen helfen?

HARRY:
Äh?

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Was möchten Sie?

HARRY:
Ein Regenschirm!

NARRATOR:
Harry, in whole sentences, please: Ich brauche einen Regenschirm. I need an umbrella. That's accusative. Do you remember?

HARRY:
Yes, yes, yes. Ich brauche einen Regenschirm.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Sie suchen einen Regenschirm?

HARRY:
Yes!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Ja, warten Sie!

HARRY:
Am I lucky! It's my day today.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
So! Hier sind die Regenschirme. In allen Farben! Hier: blau, rot, grün, gelb ...

HARRY:
Blue, red, green, yellow.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
… oder schwarz … oder weiß?

HARRY:
Black, white … It doesn't matter. The color makes no difference!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Also, welchen Regenschirm nehmen Sie?

HARRY:
Oh, I don’t know …

NARRATOR:
Come on, Harry, just take one and get going!

HARRY:
Okay, okay. Ich nehme der Regenschirm.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Den Regenschirm.

NARRATOR:
Watch out Harry! nehmen – to take – needs the accusative. der Regenschirm becomes den Regenschirm.

HARRY:
Ich nehme den Regenschirm.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Gut!

AT THE CHECKOUT     

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Also, ein Regenschirm 9,90 Euro, Brot 2 Euro, 200 Gramm Schwarzwälder Schinken 4 Euro 10 Cent, ein Liter Milch 80 Euro …

HARRY:
What? Was? Ein Liter Milch 80 Euro? 80 Euro for one liter of milk. I could buy myself a cow for that.

SHOP ASSISTANT: (DIALECT)
Ach Entschuldigung! Ein Liter Milch kostet 80 Cent, also: kostet 80 Cent. Natürlich! Mein Fehler!

HARRY:
Kein Problem!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Das macht zusammen 16 Euro und 80 Cent.

NARRATOR:
Now I'll be interested to see if they accept credit cards in such a small store.

HARRY:
Why not? Ich bin in Deutschland!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Tut mir leid, keine Kreditkarten!

HARRY:
What do you mean: no credit cards?

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Wir akzeptieren keine Kreditkarten! Bitte zahlen Sie bar!

NARRATOR:
I guess you'll have to pay in cash.

HARRY:
Ich … ich habe kein Cash!

NARRATOR:
Bargeld. 

HARRY:
Ich habe kein Bargeld.

SHOP ASSISTANT: (DIALECT)
Das ist ein Problem. Das ist ein Problem.

HARRY:
How am I supposed to get any cash in this little dump of a town?

NARRATOR:
Well, just give her your watch! Uhr! Die Uhr!

HARRY:
Good idea! Hier, meine Uhr. Sie ist gut. Accurate as an atomic clock.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Tauschen, das geht bei uns nicht.

HARRY:
You get ...

NARRATOR:
Sie bekommen ...

HARRY:
Sie bekommen die Uhr. And I get the things.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Nein!

HARRY:
Ich bekomme die Sachen, okay?
 
SHOP ASSISTANT:
Nein, das geht nicht! Bitte zahlen Sie bar!

HARRY:
But I don’t have any cash! Ich habe kein Bargeld!

NARRATOR:
Harry! Harry, don't shout like that! You're frightening the woman.

HARRY:
She's frightening me! I've had enough!

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Wirklich unerhört … Also, das können Sie doch nicht … um Gottes willen …

HARRY:
Give me those things.

NARRATOR:
Oh Harry.

SHOP ASSISTANT:
Also … nein, das geht nicht, Sie müssen bezahlen.
Hilfe! Haltet den Dieb! Polizei!

IN FRONT OF THE CONVENIENCE STORE

HARRY:
By the time the police get here I'll be over the hills and far away.

NARRATOR:
Well if you say so.

POLICE:
Achtung, Achtung! Hier spricht die Polizei. Stoppen Sie! Warten Sie!

HARRY:
Why are they yelling? Stoppen Sie? Warten Sie?

NARRATOR:
They are using the imperative, the form for a command. The verb comes first!

POLICE:
Stoppen Sie! Warten Sie!

NARRATOR:
Stop! Wait!

HARRY:
All right, all right, I'm stopping where I am.

NARRATOR:
Well, people who don't listen to advice may find themselves getting arrested. Wer nicht hören will, muss fühlen.